Ending an Absence

Hey everyone, I know that I do not blog anymore, and when I do it is just pointless crappy poetry. Well, I have been inspired by my friend Lenny to make this blog more than a crappy literary outlet. So I will start with a direct theft of content from Lenny and blog about my spring break.

"Globe Trotter" is not a word that should ever be used to describe me. I have been to Hawaii twice in my life and besides that, I have not traveled farther East than Arizona. I really have never been out of this country, I went to Vancouver, BC once when I was 8, and I do not even own a passport.
Despite my lack of travel experience, I have always wanted to travel around the United States and eventually travel internationally. A lot of people did a lot of their traveling as a child, either going on family vacations or tagging along to an interesting place for a business trip with a parent. I never had that opportunity, my father works for the State of Oregon and all his business trips consisted of going to Medford or Pendleton (both of which I accompanied him once as a child) and my mother does not have a job that requires travel. Now comes the second part of this equation to the problem of my lack of travel: Sports! Spring Break and even more so, Summer Break are the quintessential times for kids and families to take a vacation and explore other parts of this country. Well I never really had this opportunity. Before High School I played Basketball, Baseball, and even played soccer until 5th grade; both sports created scheduling conflicts with favorble travel dates. Basketball was played extensiveley during Christmas Break and even led to some fun vacations, such as a trip to Sunriver that included the porn incident and an unforgettable trip to Seaside which led to feces in the sauna coals,a closed pool, and a pissed off Shilo Inn Manager. To be honest, basketball was not the bain to my globe trotting existence, that burden is placed squarley on the shoulder of America's Past Time. Baseball is my favorite sports and was the sport I was best at. My dad has been my Coach from Tee Ball to 8th Grade, excluding 4th Grade. We both took baseball very seriously and even if we wanted to take a vacation and I could miss a game or two, he could not because he was the head coach. Spring Break was full of fun tournaments in Bend or Salem and Summer was full of games, All-Stars, and League/State Playoffs. I never had the opportunity to explore anywhere besides the beautiful state of Oregon and at times, Southwest Wahington, and thie severely hampered any chances I had to see the rest of the Great United States.

This is all prior to High School, once High School Started, I began to play Football as well. Football bridged the gap that extended to end of Baseball (Early-Mid August) to the Start of School in September. We had football camp that then ceded into Daily Doubles, and any chance of a summer vacation, even in those late months of August, vanished when I decided to tak on the gridiron. All of the previous problems that limited my travel pre- high school were magnified once in high school. Baseball became even more important as I was soon seeking to have a baseball career beyond high school, Basketball was soon replaced with hitting lessons throughout the winter to improve my game by the time summer fever hit.

That was the story for the first 18 years of my life and of the 3, maybe 2, people who read this know, I am now 23. They shoul be asking, "Why couldn't you of traveled anywhere in the last 5 years?". The answer is realationships. I am not just talking about romantic endeavors, but also freindships. True, I did have a girlfriend for the first 3 years of college, and I did not want to study abroad because of this, but actually that relationship led to many travels that I would of not takin otherwise. I got to visit Spokane on numerous occasions and spend many nights in Sunriver, both places that I would have never of gotten to enjoy in a non-sports driven setting. Also, I wanted to be around to see my friends during summer break. My best friends all did not go to U of O with me, even though I made some of my best friends at school too, but the summer and spring provided opportunities to see them and I did not want to let that pass. These friendships led to many trips as well. My best friend Jeff and his family has done a wonderful job of treating me like a third son and has taken me to so many places. I have been to Scottsdale and Vegas with them and every year, we make a trip to Reno to see a car show. Matt and his family has taken me to Hawaii twice and My roomates and I went to Vegas last spring break. So basically, the reasons that I have not traveled a lot are the exact same reasons why I have traveled at all. Kind of Ironic isn't it?

Now anyone reading may be wondering why this long winded history of vacations is even blog worthy, even on a blog as crappy as mine, but it is because I am currently making this post in beautiful Reading, Pennsylvania! I have finally headed east for a week and I will give everyone my review and experiences of this Oregon homebody when I return!

My soul is a crumbling like an eroding building

It's past the point of saving, so no one even cares or tries

Everyone's general opinion of me is like a giant pick on my foundation

It is adding to my destruction

I am nothing that someone is looking for

No one would even rent me

I really feel like I have a growing emptiness in me

It is consuming every emotion I have

I am trying to escape from the mouth of madness

but I am running in quicksand

This black hole of despair will swallow me eventually,

I will sit here and watch people pass and not even bat an eye

as I am devoured by the darkness

Wet Dream a Licious

This is pretty much the coolest thing I have ever seen. A mosaic of Star Wars scenes to make the last supper, Jedi Style. I want to make one of these with Bree Olson scenes, that would be life fulfilling. 

Don't bury my dreams below contentment

I don't have anything here that I want

I don't have anything here that I love

I love my dreams

I love thinking that they may be achieved

I love floating away,

Getting away

My dreams and ambitions can overflow any hole that you dig

Don't bury my dreams,

Especially under something as greedy as contentment

You can't take all my dreams

Top 10 Movies I saw in 2007

These are the top 10 movies that I enjoyed over the last year. I did not get to see all the good ones yet, so this may change. I haven't seen "The assasination of Jesse James", "Atonement" or "Rescue Dawn" yet. But these are just what I liked, I do not have any good insight into them.

1. No Country for Old Men - I really liked this movie, it was well acted and had a fast pace.

2. Michael Clayton - I just saw it, but I loved it. Everyone was good in it and I like upscale movies like this. I just do.

3. Easter Promises - I thought it was better than "A History of Violence". Viggo is really cool and I like the way this guy directs.

4. Harry Potter: Order of the Phoenix - This is my 2nd favorite Harry Potter movie next to number 3. I just love the feel of imminent doom in this movie. And I think this is the best stand alone movie that has been made. You did not need to see the other 4 movies to enjoy this one.

5. There Will Be Blood - I really think Daniel Day Lewis' performance in this movie is overlooked! How come he hasn't gotten any praise!?

6. Across the Universe - Any movie plot that is driven by Beatles' songs is my friend. Not to mention it looked awesome

7. 3:10 to Yuma - I am not the biggest Western guy, but this was a lot of fun. And the guy Ben Foster plays is bad ass.

8.Juno - I laughed a lot and loved the music. Any time a dad swears to punch a kid in the wiener next time he sees him, I have to love the movie

9. Knocked Up - Maybe not as many laugh as hard as you can moments as "Superbad", but I loved the story and all the characters. Especially Paul Rudd

10. The Lookout - an awesome heist movie and Josepeh Gordan Levitt is turning in to an awesome actor

Lucky you!

My 3 (maybe 4) Readers get a special treat today; poetry! Now you may be saying to yourself  "poetry is all we get on this fucking blog!", but this is poetry with a story behind it. When I was around 14-15 I was head over heels for someone. It was kind of  old school in that I didn't know her and never talked to her, but I really thought I was in love. I obviously wasn't and I look back a bit embarrassed, but the point of the story is I used to stay up so many nights because I couldn't sleep because of these feelings and wrote stupid poetry. I just found them again and am gonna make you read my favorites. Jake already heard these on one of our Late Night Drunk Poetry Jams. Here you go and my loyal readers, don't laugh too hard!

What If?

What if you and I fell in love?

What if you cared?

Would this ever be?

No, of course not.

Love will never happen to me.

But,

What if...

You did care about me?

What if there is a happy ending?

Maybe I don't have to be Prince Charming

could it be,

Love with me?

TALE OF A BROKEN HEART

Trying to receive love.

Asking for a dance.

Or just a chance

You tell me away

And say

"Maybe another day"

A TALE OF A BROKEN HEART

I ask for your signature

Doing so very mature

You tell me away

And say,

"You don't deserve my wonderful art"

A TALE OF A BROKEN HEART

You say "Hi" in the hall

So I give you a call

To see if it is fate

That will give us a first date

Your reply is simple and slow

Your reply is "no"

A TALE OF A BROKEN HEART

I settle at home

After the reply on the phone

I take a knife to my wrists

Wishing that I never exist

As I slit

The thought of what I was doing

This death I was pursuing

I tried to stop the blood

But it came on like a flood

Then I was finally done

THE RESULT OF A BROKEN HEART

Life 4 Love

It sounds odd that someone would give their life 4 love

But that someone would be me

I would give my life for her to love me

If it will never be

Than I hope that sacrificing my life 4 her will get to me 4 one second

Then it would all be worth it

It is crazy that one would give their life for a second of the thing they wanted

But 4 love, anything is worth it

The Maze

Love is a maze

We can both go our separate ways

One will miss one

The other will miss none

Or we could stick together

And love forever

And when the maze is completed

We will not feel defeated

because we will have eachother

I Dream to be someone's Dream.
seeing eye to eye is hard when you are on the bottom of someone's shoes.
I remain a slave, a victim of her disease.
Polish my tarnished heart,
someone.
Pull my heart out of the jaws of my own agony
While I wait, I will Dream